NEXT TIME...

I try very hard not to be offended by people just because I disagree with them. Ignorance shouldn't offend me. However tonight I'm so incensed that I can't get past it, so, I write. (I'm going to give a fictional name so we can keep track here…) An MOT (Mother of three) from work said to me a couple of years ago that she was surprised when she found out a mutual friend of ours was married to a "black guy". She was surprised that she would "stoop to that level". Tonight we find out that the daughter of this mutual friend is also dating a black man (who is the father of her child). "She's so pretty, too!" said MOT's mom, "She doesn't NEED to date a black man." Can someone tell me what the hell that means??? If a white girl is pretty she doesn't HAVE to date a black man? WHAT THE HELL? What about dating someone because you love them? What about, even if he's black, he can be a good guy. AND if he's a bad guy, it's not because he is black, it's because he's a bad guy. Period. What makes me even madder is that MOT is pregnant with child number three. Her husband who is in the Reserves doesn't have a full time job, so their kids (including the one on the way) are all being cared for…and have been since the first one was born…by our taxes. Yep, we are paying for her kids to be taken care of since neither of them works steady jobs. I have no doubt that she loves her kids. I know she does. But it makes it a lot easier to have more when Grandma buys the clothes and we buy their food. I have no idea who pays for their housing. So, I'm not offended as much as I am disappointed. I'm disappointed that they are bringing up children that will think the "N" word is ok. That will insist that you are less of a person if you marry/date someone of a different race. I'm disappointed that ignorance is more accepted that diversity. Between my husband and me we work five jobs to provide for our family. We aren't the only ones in this country who have to do that to stay ahead. We've got three kids to support and we have US to support too. That's fine. When the money (or lack thereof) starts really bothering me is when I realize that I'm supporting back woods, redneck, bigoted, people who continue to breed at my expense. I'd rather support the people trying to get in the country illegally – but are willing to work their asses off for it, than Americans who feel they "deserve" it because their ancestors got here first. Guess what, those "black" folk that you look down on, hell, even your damn ancestors needed THEIR HELP to make it here. Yep, they were putting up with your sh*t and dealing with your laziness back then, too. Are all "black" people hard working, straight up, good people? NO. Are all "Mexican" people hard working, straight up, good people? NO. Are all "white Americans" hard working straight up, good people? HELL NO. Get a clue Mr. and Mrs. Bigot. Get a freakin' clue. The color of someone's skin isn't what makes them a decent person. I'd rather be married to a black man that to an ignorant man any day. I'd rather my children tell me they were marrying a person of a different race than tell me they were settling with someone who was their race, because it's expected of them. I'd rather deal with the social pressures of a mixed marriage than to be in a loveless marriage or a marriage where having more kids is the goal instead of taking care of the ones you have. I kept my cool tonight. I told them that there were just as many white men who were bad husbands and black. And I left it at that. I am disappointed that I did that. I am ashamed that I didn't say more. I can blame it on being tired from a long night of work. I can blame it on not wanting to make a scene. But truth be known, I was so angry that I would have lashed out and I didn't want to "stoop" to the level of an ignorant person. Next time, I may have to stoop. Next time, I plan to speak my mind regardless. Next time, I won't have to say "next time".